A Glimpse in the Life of a Gay Paraplegic

Every day I wake up thinking, maybe this will be the day I fall in love. That is something very difficult for anyone to find; but. for a gay man that is paralyzed and in a wheelchair, finding someone to fall in love with is exponentially more difficult. Are there other gay men out there who would choose a personal connection with someone to be more important than the physical side to a relationship?

Twelve years ago I woke up in a hospital and realized that my life had changed. I was hit by a driver high on Oxycontin, and I was now paralyzed from my chest down. Over the next ten years I focused on healing, rehabilitating my body, and overcoming obstacle after obstacle in order to get to a point where I can be independent, self-sufficient, and ready for the next phase of my life. During this period of rehabilitation I also was able to accept my sexuality of being gay. This acceptance of myself took a long time due to how I was raised, but I finally found the love of myself that I had always been lacking. I am very proud of what I have achieved since my accident, but one desire still remains unfulfilled. I have yet to find any gay man in Las Vegas that will even go on a date with me, because I am in a wheelchair.

The question that now rings inside of me is, “Are there any gay men in Las Vegas that can fall in love with someone for who they are on the inside and not for what they can offer in bed?” Sex is a very important part of any relationship, but it seems to be of major importance for the gay community. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sex as much as anyone, and “yes” I am able to have sex even with being paralyzed. The problem that arises is the majority of gay men I meet automatically think that since I am in a wheelchair then there is no way of having sex with me. No one even takes the time to get to know me as a person before they decide I am not able to meet their desires. I just wish that there were more gay men who would not prioritize sex as the number one most important part of a relationship.

Being paralyzed has its own difficulties, but I have learned how to do everything I used to do before I couldn’t walk. I just have to be creative as to how to get things done. It is very difficult for me to look around at everyone else who has a special someone holding their hand and experiencing life with. It genuinely hurts my heart to see some of the friends I have get hurt by people that don’t truly love them and only want them for sex when I know that I would treat those friends as if they were the most important person in the world if only they would give me an opportunity to love them. I just hope that everyone in my life realizes how much I care for them.

In closing, my goal here is not to make anyone feel sorry for me, but to open your eyes to those around you who might not be your obvious first choice for a date and see inside those people. Try to find love with who a person truly is and not with just how good they are in bed. Sex with even the most beautiful person will eventually lose its importance, but the love of a person who has a heart and personality of gold will never get dull.


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